funky station

Gee i know its like their job and stuff but holy sec is so CORRUPT! i swear they havent read a lick of space law! what do you guys think about security..

May Syndig

The amount that a regular security officer understands space law is comparable to how much pun understands bartending. You will never believe how many officers I've class II'ed just based on arrestee well being.

-Your faithful servant Judge Tim Perywinkle

Okal Maddox (Bartender/salv/QM):
"Inevitable force, but I'm pretty much never on their nose, so I can't complain much ?"

Weiloss MoonSeeker (Psychotherapist, Researcher):
"Well, you sure need to get people in check in those stations."

Malus Wrenchus (Engineer):
"I'd love to have their guns, specially warden one. God a laser shotgun is so cool... Hum ? No I'm not gonna try to steal it, I'm just... gonna look..."

Unit L-33-T 4P-R0N (Borg):
"THIS UNIT'S CHASSIS HAS BEEN DAMAGED MORE THAN ONCE BY FUTILE ACTION OF SECURITY. YET IT IS CLEARED IT IS NECESSARY TO HAVE SOME SORT OF CREW MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS"

Jump And Stamp (SecOff/Warden/Hos):
"What exactly there's to think of my job ? I mean, the hazard pay is great, pretty much the only reason i'm doing that."

Hates The Rocks (Assistant):
"It depends, but the worst are CLEARLY the one who defend rocks like it's their child. Like I got severals cases of vandalism FOR FREAKING ROCKS. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ? IF AN "IDIOT" LIKE THEY SAY CAN DESTROY THE ROCKS WITH SOME TOOLS FOUND OF THE STATION, GUESS WHAT, EVERYONE CAN ? THAT'S WHY I HATE THEM. NO, NOT THE SEC, THE ROCKS, THEY" There's a 32 minutes of ranting about why rocks is stupid and steel is superior

May's loud complaints into the public hallway are interrupted by one of those bassy, loud rumbles reptilians make that are felt more than heard, the origin of which is the nearby security checkpoint. Maybe there are better places to be critical of security, especially with the rather intimidating-looking occupant.

The black reptilian within is, for lack of a better word, built like a brick shithouse, and has clearly drawn the short end of the stick with checkpoint duty. A pair of eyes, one organic and one metal, glare out from behind the issued sunglasses, paired with some nasty-looking acid scarring that interrupts their scales. They idly sway the swivel chair, draped with a heavy armored coat, they recline in from side to side with a thick, muscled tail.

Instead of the expected lecture, however, the reptilian- Eix-Jaseen, May reads from the PDA dangling from their belt- brings their hand, which she can now see is a military-grade metal prosthetic, up and takes a long drag from a cigarette in a blatant disregard of their ROC. Eix sighs heavily, smoke billowing out of their nostrils and mouth in a manner that reminds May of a space dragon. A black tongue flicks out behind it, sending the smoke to swirl further off into the station's wastenet.

"I'll be honessst," they finally speak, "I get where you're coming from. Sssome of my coworkersss are real piecccesss of work."

They lean over the console in front of them to an ashtray filled to the brim with cigarette butts and put out their most recent one. Must be a slow shift indeed.

"But I'd be lying if I sssaid I gave a damn about ssspaccce law," they admit, eyes widening for a second, "I- uh- jussst realized how that sssounded."

They shake their head and reach into their coat, fishing out another cigarette- May notices that their carton of choice is Dan's Soaked Smokes, for some gods-awful reason.

"My point isss," they say, speaking around the cigarette as they light it, "I'm not here for the law or corporate interessst or any of that bullssshit."

Eix relaxes further into the swivel chair as they take a drag from what can only be described as one of the worst nicotine addictions May has ever witnessed.

"I usssed to be in the UNMC," they explain, "Bug hunter divisssion. And I've seen some real ssshit."

"The type of ssshit that makesss people like me pisss themssselvesss and hurl up their lunchesss. The type of ssshit you come out the other ssside of wondering whether or not it'sss worth it to ssstay living. The type of ssshit no one ssshould ever have to go through."

Their eyes look out, far off into the distance, further out than the wall on the other side of the hallway.

"I'm here to make sssure no one goes through that ssshit," they finish. Another drag from the awful cigarette.

"I'll admit I take it too far sssometimesss," they seem to soften, "That I get too into my own head and forget to look at what'sss right in front of me."

Their surprising introspection ends quickly.

"But at the end of the day, I'm here to protect people," Eix sets their jaw, determination thrumming through their body as they lean forward in their chair again, all business, "And if that makesss me corrupt, or godsss forbid, ssstupid? I'll take thossse namesss any day of the fucking week."