Spider Clan Personnel - Entry #1334 - Arachne Eldritch
Ok, Sensei put me on desk duty after last mission, but I maintain that there is NO way I could have known that meteor lodged in the station was radioactive. Sigh, anyway, now I need to write a summary about this airheaded loser...
[art by @samething_silly on Instagram]
Arachne Eldritch is a 21 year old arachnid from Xorplov-9, raised by "Mother Spider" alongside roughly 10,000 other spider siblings (nobody ever counted precisely). They were taught to never waste biomass that could otherwise be eaten, with this lesson demonstrated for them on "Father Spider" shortly after Arachne hatched. To practice this teaching, Arachne was assigned as a chef on Nanotrasen's Station #14 to cook delightful meals for their "Crewbesties".
Arachne, when not obstructed by any co-chef's protests, webs their station up in as much spider silk as possible, both in furnishings and in ornament. They claim this is to "Keep da mice out and da food fresh and preserved yesyes!", but plainly, they seem to find simple comfort in the practice.
They're rarely seen outside of their silky kitchen, unless they're out looking for grape soda or are growing themselves ingredients in lieu of a botanist. Most of their menu revolves around chili peppers; hot chili, Cuban nachos, enchiladas and the like, but "BORGIR AND FRY!!" and various breakfast dishes are also a mainstay. They have been trained to pay careful attention to meet all types of dietary needs, such that they are appreciated by as many key crew members as possible.
More valuable to them than anything else in their kitchen, though, is Alexander the Pig, whose companionship Arachne cherishes even beyond the lives of their giant spider "webfriends", or indeed their own. Prioritizing a pig's life over that of a giant spider would seem to conflict with their Lolthian religious beliefs, which they otherwise dogmatically observe. Luckily, religious consistency is not a requirement for working on Nanotrasen stations, nor for us.
"Hey Arachne, where did you learn your knife skills?"
"Erm..... I can't remembers!"
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Pictured: Arachne during their final phase of covert infiltration training
In exchange for us supporting their struggling army of siblings back home, Arachne agreed to be inducted into Spider Clan training at 18. Their final assignment before graduation is to employ as a well-behaved, diligent, happy-go-lucky Spider Clan asset on Nanotrasen's station #14. When the time comes and the station is appropriately cased, they will be tasked with infiltrating it personally on their inaugural sortie. With their success will come full induction as a Space Ninja.
Until then, they have been conditioned to forget and compartmentalize our existence, as well as their purpose on station. Once we desire to activate them, all we need do is sabotage a shipment of grape soda in transit to the station, as its long-term presence is what's keeping them docile and forgetful of us. Our Syndicate frenemies would call them a "Sleeper Agent". we prefer the term "Trapdoor Spider".
NOTE: in the unlikely event that one of you useless klutzes highly capable ninjas run into them on mission, they have NOT been programmed to help you. They have their own cover to keep, so the best you can hope for is that they'll forget that you're there when you're out of sight. Also, if you're relying on the fucking chef to accomplish your mission, maybe you should just go ahead and acidify yourself.
And no, "Arachne" isn't their birth name, that's Zodarion Aquatica, please stop pinging me on Spiderchat to ask me this. That'd be like naming a human "Humie". Their new name was given to them after completing training (referring to our clan, not their species) along with our insignia tattooed on their scalp, which is why we've also trained them to carefully avoid showing the top of their head to strangers. For their part, they believe themselves to be following an imagined Lolthian religious creed on head coverings; we believe they've forgotten the tattoo is even up there.
Until we see fit to activate them, they have been conditioned to not only stay loyal to Nanotrasen, but act as a model employee, up to and including defending the station in militia if necessary. We cannot purloin research from a station that is obliterated by our rivals (not to mention no matter how hard we brainwash, we can't seem to get them to abandon that fucking pig).
Fin
[Special thanks to Ferynn, who encouraged me to play my first ever space ninja round in ghost chat a while back and walked me through it. I had major antag-anxiety even 900 hours in, so I appreciate them helping me explore a whole 'nother realm of the game, and for that matter Arachne ^-^]